Exhausted, Stressed, Blahhhhh

This is by far the hardest thing I've done ... this is only the beginning and I know it will only get harder ..I still have 7 weeks to go!! 

I am Go go go lately and don't have time for anything. 

Workouts 0--0

I'm

Beyond exhausted during every single workout and don't ever feel like I'm going to finish but I do somehow -- then going back later for cardio ... Seriously kills me and makes me wana just say fORGET it ... But guess what... I won't!! Nothing is going to stop me!! I was doing cardio yesterday and wanted to cry bc my feet seriously just hurt from working all day the day before and all Day that day ... then going and doing cardio just ab made me wana quit! 

I am so tired today it's not even funny!! Walking around w my dang shorts on backwards in the grocery store -__- 

I'm tired of having headaches and I'm tired of being moody! Welcome

To tons of fun! 

I'm tired of cooking all this food... I'm tired of eating all this food... I'm tired of being hungry sometimes !! I did all

This before ... Did my meal preps and ate same foods just not as strict as now! 

Im just TIRED :,( 

Tired of dealing w crappy friends and crappy boys! Anyone who brings problems or drama to my life is automatically cut out ... Blocked .. Deleted. Bye bye ! Started w that this morning!! This is frustrating enough and when drama is brought to me during all this it gets me off track and I don't have time for that! I don't have time to have a bad workout bc I'm upset ... I don't have time to want to eat the entire world bc I'm upset and I don't have time to miss a meal bc I'm upset! 

Good Night zzzzzzz 

High carb days ... Gone!!

Well... After a week and a half my high carb days got taken away lol... I'll prob die now for sure !! Here's a pic of what a moderate carb  day of sweet potatoe looks like ... 

Yeup that's all I get is that slice

Right there. On low carb days I'll get half that!!!

Here's what a full meal looks like for me 

Here is a progress photo of me. Unedited. No filters. Just natural lighting .... 

I also hate I mean hate doing cardio 

Killed my fat today though I have cardio errrr day now ... And I hate errrr second of it .... No music .. Tv show ... Conversation can make it end fast enough ... 

BUT that being said -- I have a competition to compete in and I'm NOT giving up!! 

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms!! 

Ohhh and if I get grumpy bc lack of carbs ... 

This will happen ASAP but I'm going to really try to challenge myself!!! 

Ppl don't understand how challenging and hard it is to get ready for a show. This is def my first one and it's hard but a friend of mine told me yesterday doesn't matter if it's your first or 5th or 20th it's always equally as misserable !! 

Annoying ... Gym Lighting VS Natural Lighting

It's so annoying how lighting changes how you look 

In the gym I look mehhhh :// 

At home in natural lighting a look much better :)) 

These are just progress pics I send to my coach but I wana always look like the bottom ones ... Lol 

4:43 AM food cravings VS sleep

ALL I can think ab is how amazing it would be to eat donuts right now! 

BUT I CANT!! It's so hard laying here wide awake and wanting to eat but you know that if you do your last meal will be at 6pm -__- and that ain't happening!! I'll die if last time I get to eat is at 6pm !! My last meal is scheduled for 9 pm when I go to bed. 

I literally got up outta bed at 3 something and was going to eat something -- anything -- but stopped myself before I even gotto the fridge told my self don't do it and went back to the bed. And here I am STILL awake !! 

I. Want. To. Eat. Something. Already !! 

FOOD cRAVINGS you win! 

Ooo I'm going to weigh myself !! 

Ohhh--KAYYY ... My grandmas scale lied 

I weigh 

Therefore ... I dID NOT lose 7 lbs I lost like one !!! </3 #HEARTBROKEN 

What. The. Eff !! #ThisIsBS 

(Arms crossed... N mad) 

The struggle is real! 

Gum ... SMH ... DIE

Ohhh---kayyyy 

WHOEVER. It is that came up w this little theory to chew yummy flavored gym while your having a craving is DEAD TO ME!! :((( 

Mmm-- yeah-- thanks for my mental taste bud break down today! sMh!! Rude!!! 

I was standing in line to pay for my headphones at target and I see this gym that says peach cobbler !! I think yEAH rIGHt!! No way it taste like that!! 

Guess what?!!! IT DOES! Like exactly like a dang peach cobbler !! It taste so good I immediately spit it out and almkSt cried!! It was such a tease! I was sooo mad at myself for tasting it !! I literally got in my car and almkSt cried!! 

So then like 2.5 hrs later I'm leaving the gym and I see it staring at me from the cup holder and I'm like auhhh lemme try this again... I'm not craving something so maybe it will be okay! 

Golden!! I. Loved. It !! Guess lesson learned was don't chew something w that much amazingness when I am dying of hunger or have a craving! 

My poor mother has to hear all my rants. Thank you for being there for me. Love you! 

Being around humans who are allowed to freely eat whatevs sad

I🙆🙆🙆🙆🙆🙆🙆🙆🙆🙆Sooo my first challenge began around lunch time Friday ... Mom n I go to the movies and I have to sneak meal #3 in my precious LV purse so I can eat it while watching The Other Woman... ( funny movie) 

Well -- mom n I end up at the wrong theatre sooo on way to next one guess who gets to hold the popcorn 

Mmm yes me !! 🙆🙆🙆🙆🙆🙆

 

That night were headed to a Christian concert ANNND... What do ya know I get to hold my mamas tamale 😭😭😭😭 

And it was LOW CARB day at that!!! 

Saturday rolls around and my precious niece and nephew are in Midland to visit and this is where it gets even more tough!! 

While they eat bread and peanuts I stare 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👃👃👃👅💦. 

I think the hardest part was watching my niece and nephew get donut wasted and eat peanut butter on bread. I about died !! 

🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩 

🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞

 

Some of the things I had no problem passing up were 

Mc Donald's and Hotdogs

H

Cooking Enough To Leave Home

 FoodJeez this was honestly the most annoying part of all of this! I cooked enough food for 5 days!!  Anyone who preps their food understands how annoying... Time consuming ... And ANNOYINg this is!! I left Dallas from th-Monday and I ended up with 6 bags 

Food. Supplements. And protein!! Plus my gym clothes ;)) 

And .. 

All these things had to be packed ... 

So... This drive was ab 5hrs and 20 min so I packed my 3rd and 4th meal in my six pack bag 

and I stopped at convenient stores to heat them up!! 

Eating in the car -- 

^^ that was meal 3 

And here was meal 4 ⬇️⬇️⬇️

Independence Day Classic BodyBuilding Competition Irving, Texas 💪

Come July 5,2014 I will enter my VERY FIRST body building competition. I will compete in the figure category. I am a little less than 9.5 weeks out!! 

I originally wanted to do this all on my own but as it gets closer I am realizing that I need assistance. Sooo... I got a coach -- his name is Kyle Cavnar and I couldn't be happier with him!! He provided me with my meal plan last Wednesday (today is Monday) and I've already lost 7 lbs. I am currently @ 149 (if my grandmas scale is correct lol-- I'm going to weigh myself again tomorrow morning ) it has already been the most miserable 5 days of my life (food wise)!!! But -- that being said IDC -- I'm competing and ALL there is to it ;) I'm going to blog as much as I can thought these next two months ... How miserable or happy it is you shall hear ab it!!